I didn’t sleep very well last night; today my stomach is upset; and I’ve been a little lightheaded most of the day. I’m not getting sick, though. Yesterday, I made an offer on my first house.

Waiting for big answers is nothing new for me. From medical tests to acceptance to college, the big results that have life-changing consequences are just part of life. But few others things have caused me quite the anxiety as waiting for a response from these people I’ve never met.

I think the difference here is that I’m actually not much of a negotiater. I’d rather tell them the first time what I can pay and have them tell me whether it’s acceptable. If it doesn’t work out, no hard feelings.

As it stands, it would be really incredible if they accept the offer I made (on the recommendation of my realtor and my dad). With all the stuff we’re asking them to pay for, I’ll be walking out of the closing with a check in my hand. But this is probably not the way things will actually go. The truth is, I’ll probably have to come up on the price some, if they ask. I can haul the old refrigerators away myself on heavy trash day (I looked it up on the Indianapolis trash website). And the mini blinds? I’m not really that attached. As for all the little fix-up jobs that need to be done throughout the house? They’ll probably have to wait until I can save more money — just like everything else in life.

When it comes down to it, the whole process of buying my first home — being preapproved for a mortgage, waiting for an accepted offer, planning the move-in, making it home — it’s all just like everything else in life, full of ups and downs. Grand expectations and disappointing let-downs. There’s nothing magical about owning a home (except for maybe all the tax breaks), and my life is not going to be complete when I have to mow my own lawn.

So while this seems like a great opportunity, and I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t work out, this is just the first offer on the first house. If asking them to pay the closing costs was just a little more than the sellers can bear and they don’t even counter, I’ll feel terrible for a little while, but I’ll get up, shake off the dust, and live to make another offer.