Over on Seedlings in Stone, LL Barkat has been talking about Smallness of Scale based on a Wendell Berry essay she has been reading. She challenged us to think about this issue with her, so I decided to give it a try.
First, here’s the starting point from Berry in The Gift of Good Land, where he talks about the mountain farming of Peru.
“For those fields hold their soil on those slopes, first of all, by being little. By being little they protect themselves against erosion, but their smallness also permits attention to be focused accurately and competently on the details.” (p 26)
“The fields have to be the right size; to make them too big would be to destroy them….What I was thinking, then, looking down at the little fields of the Andes, was that the most interesting, crucial, difficult questions of agriculture are questions of propriety. What is the proper size for a farm for one family in a given place? What is the proper size for a field, given a particular slope, climate, soil type, and drainage?” (p.43)
I’ve been talking a lot about small things already, being faithful with the little so we can be entrusted with the big, finding our small place in a big cause, and doing so by finding a small place to start. In all of these ways, we prosper by narrowing the focus.
I started learning these lessons about five years ago when I first was stricken with an unexpected illness that left me paralyzed for several days. I made a miraculous recovery, but over the next three years had three more major hospitalizations, each time temporarily paralyzed. Doctors determined it was immunologial, most likely lupus, and thanks to the grace of God through a very effective drug, I now live a mostly normal life.
Through the process of being in and out of the hospital, going through weeks of physical therapy and greatly reduced physical strength, I learned the value of small. During the first illness when many of my doctors believed I would never walk again, a small wiggle of the toe one morning was a major victory. I came to greatly appreciate just getting out of bed on my own each day, and when I was finally able to go back to work, it was a gift.
The Lord also used this illness to shrink the overall scope of my life. Until that time, I had unending amounts of energy and ambition, with little focus. With the sky as the limit, I couldn’t rest until I was able to fly. After the illness, and to this day, I now have a lot more boundaries. Ironically, too much activity, not enough rest, and too much stress (the hallmarks of my previous life) actually leave me headed in a bad direction physically. I balked at these limits at first. Now I embrace them.
Knowing I can’t do it all, I am more discerning about how I do spend my time. This smallness of scale is helping to refine my life in a way bigness and broadness never could.
What are your experiences of the smallness of scale? How has your life been “expanded” by having narrower boundaries?
Christianne — Thanks so much for your comments. Relationships are one part of life that I struggle with so much when it comes to smallness of scale. A few years ago, I read a great book called “The Art of Being a Good Friend” by an old Puritan named, Hugh Black. He talks about the wisdom in limiting our close relationships, and I’ve thought this was a great idea, but I just can’t imagine what this would look like in my life. How do I love without reaching out or care without helping or calling?
LM — There is a song by Ginny Owens called “Free” which your comment brought to mind. The song starts out with “Turning molehills into mountains, making big deals our of small ones, bearing gifts as if their burdens, this is how it’s been.” I’m learning that most of the boundaries in my life are the gifts I see as burdens. If I can think of them as gifts, every thing changes. Oh, this is hard.
Ted — Thanks for sharing how God is using what seems like failure to bring you peace in life. I’ve often thought that my failures have worked in this same refining way. (Thanks for the link, too!)
Erin — I’ve seen so many friends struggle through the “limitations” that family brings. There is so much joy in family, but it does narrow the scope of life somewhat.
For now — This seems to be the same thing you are articulating. It’s a season. Just like there are no flowers in winter, which might be perceived as a limitation, it’s really just a time to focus on something different. While at the same time preparing for what is next.
Thank you for sharing these very beautiful thoughts and for opening up your life to us in one more way. I was encouraged and inspired by what you said here.
How do I see small of scale expending my life? *Sigh* When faced with these “big” questions, I sometimes freeze up and can’t think of a single answer because to live in that big space seems too overwhelming a task! (How ironic is THAT, given the question in the first place?!)
But one thing did come to mind, and that is my relationships. About a year or so ago, I decided to let quite a number of relationships go. There were a number of reasons for doing this, but one of them was that I realized I just didn’t have the energy to keep all of them up in a strong, vibrant way. I had to limit my “focus” to the ones that I wanted to give the most attention to. (I just realized this is kind of what LL has been talking about on her blog with choosing The Few over The Many.)
I saw God expand my capacity for love — and personal growth — through that process. And wouldn’t you know it? Now he’s starting to bring some of those “discarded” friendships back. I wonder if He’ll also expand my capacity to truly move back inside of them.
Sometimes I look at boundaries as seasons. When my kids were younger I felt restricted until I realized that it was a season. Another season would come and the “restrictions” would change. The boundaries would change..and they have. So I guess each season has a set of boundaries that makes it fruitful. The focus has to be in the season you are in, not in the season to come, that is the boundary.
I hope this makes sense because it makes sense in my head…but not always on “paper’!
Charity~
Well said. It is this post that reminds me of this verse:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Cor. 12:9-10
We must *become* small, so that Christ’s power can work!! Freeing! đ
This is profound. Thank you for sharing the good brought about by the difficulty of your illness.
So many times I fight against the boundaries in my own life, missing out on the blessings described here.
And craver – Um…define “snobby” coffee? Surely I don’t drink that, right? đ
Charity, I linked to your post this morning (along with L.L.’s). Hope it brings you a new reader, or two.
Becoming a parent has narrowed my focus. My mind still occasionally wanders to pie in the sky dreams, but just like your health is your constant tether, Charity, my little ones serve to remind me not to think of myself (or my capabilities) more highly than I ought.
Adding homeschooling to the parenthood mix means my time and energy are pretty much spent by lunchtime. đ
We often interpret “small” to mean “insignificant.” I think, though, that “small” in this case, really means “focused.” It’s the laser beam approach to life as opposed to the buckshot approach.
Though my children are physically small, and my input into their lives may be small, it’s the focused attention and consistency that accumulates into something significant. They won’t always be small in stature, and prayerfully their hearts, spirits, and minds will follow suit.
Charity, While I’m really sorry to hear of your struggles physically, it is quite wonderful that you’ve found good, in your own experience and life, through it!
For myself, I guess just accepting my failure to be and do what I thought God had for me, is kind of an opening of a door to just be faithful in what good God puts in front of me. And forget about the rest. I was a late bloomer, I guess. Trying to overcome an emotional quotient deficiency, which hampered me for years. Now that’s either over, or I just accept what’s left of it. And go for whatever God has for me. In whatever days are left, here.
Thanks Charity, for taking L.L.’s fine post, and adding some of your experience and some great thoughts!
Yes, I guess that being within certain boundaries makes us face the spiders! (and capture and bag them? … but, they always escape to keep us on our toes)
LL — You’re right. I have such a healthier life though I struggle with sickness. Aptly stated! Thanks for the encouragement and your friendship to me.
Aimee — Great point. When we are forced (or we force ourselves) to do fewer things, we do end up doing them better. Just like Berry’s Peruvian field, bigness becomes our destruction.
Craver — Thanks for sharing your experiences in the Philipines. There is such freedom in restricting ourselves. So true! (And, you also have a renewed appreciation for very large spiders, as we all learned recently!)
Narrower boundaries with a life-expanding effect?
In 2005, a short-term missions experience to a very poor area in the Philippines helped me realize that so much of the financial duress experienced by Americans is not due to poverty, but poor stewardship.
I am rich by their standards, and when I got back, I lost the need of snobby coffee versus the run-of-the-mill office pond scum that goes for ten cents-a-cup. I donât need better car audio, or a remote starter. And, much as I like them, Heelys are out of the question, etc.
Now, I find that my finances do not have a stranglehold on me because of frivolous or prodigal spending.
Charity, narrowing my boundaries allows me to do few things, but I do them well. I always used to have too much on my plate and as a result didn’t do those things well…but even if I did, I didn’t enjoy it. Being choosy means I pick the very best things and I really invest in them and have a lot of joy as I do them. I see what a gift they are and how precious the opportunity is!
Aimee
Charity, this is so poignant. I thank you deeply for sharing freely how the boundaries of illness have brought you a “health” you hadn’t requested or expected. I’m so honored, once again, to be developing a friendship with you.