Several days ago, LL posted “Blog Me a Story,” in which she talked about the power of storytelling in communicating messages. The ensuing discussion brought up the power of stories in Jesus’ teaching. And as a writer and reader, I am always up for a good story. In fact, I find myself drawn to people who tell their own personal stories in compelling ways.
Over the past few weeks, however, I have realized anew that the power of story telling is not always a force for good in my life. The stories I hear on the news, read in books, or watch on the big screen can sometimes present a view of reality that may cause me to be fearful, can distract me from higher priorities, or can even make sin look inviting.
Over the past month, I found myself in an unexpected situation that seemed more like a Hollywood movie starring Drew Barrymore than a page out of my own life story. And somewhere along the way, I realized that I myself had begun responding more like a movie character than a person who is being conformed to God’s image.
As the situation escalated, I found myself with a big choice to make. Continuing with the Hollywood script, I would have followed my heart and thrown caution to the wind. So what if it was the wrong thing to do? At least I would have had a few moments of true happiness.
But as it were, another story became more compelling. The amazing story of Jesus–his life, his death, his sacrifice, his resurrection–sometimes does lead me through dramatic plot twists and romantic interludes. But it’s never intended to produce fear, distraction or sin in my life. The story of Jesus always leads me toward greater faith, a renew mind, and the righteousness of Christ. Even when the choices are hard and painful.
I consider myself a pretty mature person, able to participate in discussions of current events and to find the redeeming qualities in art, movies and novels written by people from all perspectives without having to capitulate or agree with the other person. But I have been reminded anew that the ideas I come into contact with, especially those presented as stories, have an overwhelming power to change how I think and how I live. Passively reading or watching or listening is not only foolish, it can be dangerous.
How do you interact with the stories you encounter? How do you use them for good in your life? How do you avoid being negatively influenced by stories that contradict what God has presented as good and true in His story?
Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will isâhis good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Just wanted to share something I thought was really fascinating, from that book Made to Stick. I thought to share it because the conversation here has come round to the idea that we might tell ourselves stories of what we want for the future, as a way to deal with the problems of the present.
There were two groups in a study. The first was told…
“We would like you to visualize how this problem arose. Visualize the beginning of the problem, going over in detail the first incident…Go over the incidents as they occurred step by step. Visualize the actions you took. Remember what you said, what you did. Visualize the environment, who was around, where you were.”
The second group was told…
“Picture this problem beginning to resolve, you are coming out of a stressful situation…Picture the relief you feel. Visualize the satisfaction you would feel at having dealt with the problem. Picture the confidence you feel in yourself, knowing that you have dealt successfully with the problem.”
Can you guess which group coped best with their problems?
Group one. “They were more likely to have taken specific action to solve their problems. They were more likely to have sought advice and support from others. They were more likely to report that they had learned something and grown.” (p.210-211)
I thought this was so interesting. And I think it must tell us something about how we use story to go on from a particular place of pain or difficulty.
Charity… ooohhh… I am so fascinated by your last statement about how we tell our stories to each other. (Of course I would be! Better help me with your wisdom before I can’t touch my manuscript anymore!)
Erin — Your point is well taken about being discerning listeners WHEREVER we are. In fact, someday soon I may follow a whole new line of thought on storytelling to cover the way we tell our stories to each other. I’m not sure we always do ourselves or others favors by the way we talk about our own lives. Oh, how we need discernment.
Stacy – In Steven James’ book Story: recapture the mystery, he says, “We are our stories. The more intimate we are, the more our stories intertwine. That’s one reason divorce is so painful–becase it rips a single, deeply threaded story apart into two.” I think the same is true of all kinds of relationships when they end, though probably not to the same degree.(Oh, I can’t wait for heaven when these misunderstandings and hurts will be gone!)
Charity,
This is a really good discussion. It’s making me think a lot about the stories my kids read, listen to, and watch.
Passively absorbing the stories of Hollywood, Madison Avenue, the Smithsonian Institution, or even the Sunday sermon from my local church is not a good thing. The apostles admonish us to examine Scripture for ourselves to check out what someone else is teaching. The problem with that is that we have to engage. And that takes effort. And we sometimes don’t like effort. We like to sit and soak like sponges.
Stories, like lynet said, are a wonderful way to learn. You could tell me to stop being lazy and work toward securing my future, or you could tell me the story of the Grasshopper and the Ant. One of those is going to capture my attention and draw me in. The other is going to sound like faint droning in my ear. đ Both have the same message. But they’re incredibly different in their delivery.
Good storytellers are also good salesmen. You just have to be aware of what is being sold. Is it a health and wealth gospel? Is it a lifetime supply of powdered milk? Is it that all dating couples who are “in love” hop in the sack together on the third date? What is being sold through the story you are hearing?
This is something I need to highlight with my kids. Raising passive story listeners isn’t going to do them any favors in life.
I was thinking of other real life stories that are intertwined with mine. I do know that people are in our lives for reasons, and I learn a lot from those who are positive and negative. However, there has come a time that I realized their story is too intertwined with mine, and there needs to be a separation. (friendship) Of course there is a time of grieving of memories, of the things lost, but there is also a release from all of the negativity as well. When you and LL spoke of stories, it made a lot of sense…a new perspective if you will. I like that, and it’s helpful. (thanks to you both!)
Stacy — When you say you are often drawn into the drama of a story, do you mean the stories in movies or books, or the real stories of others’ lives? Or both? I think the same is true in my life, though as you said, it’s hard to regret being involved because the Lord uses the stories to teach us so much. I love your idea to influence others’ stories.
Lynet — Your perspective is ALWAYS welcome here. Thanks for dropping in.
I appreciate all your points. I too try to learn from the stories of others. And in fact, hearing other people’s stories so often encourage me, motivate me, keep me from making the same mistakes, etc.
I think your point about critical thinking is so wise. I find that I can slip up here regarding certain kinds of stories that tug at my heart.
Finally, I LOVE how you tell yourself stories to push you on to better living or wise choices. I am going to take this advice tonight, and retell my own story to myself with a true ending that matches my understanding of who God is. I have been rehearsing the ending I WISH could have happened all evening, and am feeling sad and teary-eyed over it. Telling myself the true ending, though, will be the wiser path and help me heal.
Thanks, Lynet, for your insight.
Christianne — Thanks for your encouragement. Yes, I think hearing the real stories of others squares much more with the story of Jesus than many of the make-believe stories in movies. Though I do think fiction can sometimes be more “true” than non-fiction when it’s done well. I guess I just have not been very discerning about which stories I let shape me.
LL — I love your comment about whether or not your internalize a story, using discernment to see the underlying message. I think this is my problem with certain types of stories — I just go with them rather than staying engaged. In books, news, magazines, my mind is ON. With movies and television, I become a passive sponge. It’s making me rethink my media consumption, to be sure.
Erin — I think your comment about movies being “devoid of God” hits the nail on the head. They aren’t anti-God, per se, He’s just left out of the equation. (At least the fluffy romantic comedies I tend to watch because they make me “feel” good.)
Charity,
Unfortunately, I get drawn into the dramas of some stories. My problem is that they tend to be intertwined with mine a bit too much. I don’t really want to erase the stories, because I’ve learned a lot from them, but at the same time I don’t want to be IN them anymore. I hate getting sucked into the drama.
But you’re right. If we focus on the real story, the one that is true, genuine and dramatic for all the right reasons, then it enables us to keep our perspectives right in the stories with which we are intertwined. Maybe with this in mind we can influence others stories in a more positive direction.
I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. I pray you are given clarity and wisdom during this time!
May I answer as an atheist? Because your question has meaning for me, too.
How do you interact with the stories you encounter? How do you use them for good in your life? How do you avoid being negatively influenced by stories that contradict what God has presented as good and true in His story?
First and foremost, I learn from stories. Understanding another person’s story is central to understanding people who think differently to the way you do. So I learn whatever I can from my own experiences, and I use that to try to understand the stories presented by other people, whether in conversation or writing or film or whatever. One of the best things a good piece of art can give you is an understanding of a type of story that you hadn’t seen before — like when it pulls in influences from a different culture, for example, or when you see something that helps you to understand a situation you haven’t been in, yourself.
Secondly, I think critically about the stories I see. How realistic is this story? What sort of sensible understanding can be got from it? What parts should I be skeptical about? Do I agree with the message of this story?
Thirdly, I guess stories help to motivate me. They shape my understanding of the world and they affect my view of what is important. In fact, sometimes I use stories, tell myself stories to try to control the way I act: “This is a tragic love story. The heroine will bravely face the world and overcome her heartbreak, rather than succumbing to the forces that would have her look back rather than forward.” Stories are powerful and we have to be careful with them, but I think we need them, all the same.
Charity, I really respect you for choosing Jesus (what you believe to be His will for you in this particular situation) over the Hollywood story, and for finding His story for you more compelling. That takes a lot of inner strength, and I know He’s smiling down at you as He holds you in His arms.
I, too, find stories compelling and powerful and love to know the real deal life stories of other people. You’ll find that I just finished posting some thoughts along that very same vein!
I’m glad God crossed my path with yours, as I always find your words a rich well of His spiritual water for my soul.
I was never a really romantic thinker as a young girl, but I watched my share of Hollywood movies and TV. And I was influenced by them more than I ever could have realized. I come face-to-face with that reality whenever I talk with another teen or twenty-something woman who’s “in love” and making all kinds of life altering decisions based on the completely cardboard renditions of love and romance presented by the media.
Most folks (including me) still really enjoy a romantic chick-flick, or a testosterone driven action movie, but it infuriates me how the majority of movies out there are quietly massaging us to perceive manhood, womanhood, love, commitment, romance, marriage, and “normal dating behaviors” according to a worldview that is 100% devoid of God.
I’ll be frank and say that Hollywood duped me. The only antidote is to counteract it with the truth of Scripture.
Maybe later I’ll come back and rail against The Little Mermaid and its portrayal of father-daughter relationships. đ
Oh, and I meant to say that you are welcome for the email. You are on my mind.
Yes, I agree that story is extremely powerful. I actually don’t mind exposing myself to all kinds of stories. I find this to be important for me as a writer and even as a Christian who wants to understand the world. But whether I internalize them and live by them… that’s another question altogether, and definitely takes discernment as to the underlying message.
I am glad you have told a bit of your own story here, about how stories can sweep us away. It makes me think I must be careful about the stories I let my own life tell, even as I come in contact with the stories others offer me through participation in their lives.
Ted — Thanks for your comments. I agree that staying close to Jesus and his word reminds us of the one true story we all are a part of. I also am realizing that though I am free to engage in other stories, there are times when I need to put aside that freedom and guard my heart. I think that’s where I am right now.
Charity, I really like your paragraph as you bring in the story of Jesus so well. I was thinking of that on my way to work. I think what you’re hitting on is very key for all of us.
Charity, I guess this does remind me of my own posting today.
A tall question. I do think being in Scripture all the time can help. And staying in close fellowship with brothers and sisters in Jesus.
I do think at times we’re called to make hard choices. We either give in to our hearts on something, which may seem little in itself, but may be a small hinge that ends up opening a big door. Or we don’t.
I do think it’s good to be looking to God for ways something can be redeemed, but we must beware of putting ourselves in a place in which Christ must be. He must mediate in all things, being between us and others and everything that this world throws at us.
I need to think more on this myself, Charity, and I thank you for this post and look forward to your continued conversation on it.