My faith has become much more practical over the past few days, as sharp pains hit deep in my ankles and I have struggled to keep food down. One day, I was convinced I couldn’t go on, until a friend reminded me that “I can do all things through Christ” sometimes means just laying on the couch and bearing the pain until it eases up a little. I didn’t have to do “all” things at that moment, just the thing the Lord was asking me to. And He was there with me.
My prayer life has been different lately, too. I very much feel the Lord’s presence in my life, but he and I aren’t sharing a lot of words. Just abiding. And when my words do come, they sound more like “help” and “oh, Lord.” Last night, in fact, I prayed just a simple prayer that I could find something to drink that wouldn’t make me sick. Miraculously, I was able to sip on some plain water throughout the night, whereas just hours before, the “taste” of water was unbearable.
As remarkably fragile as I feel and appear right now, I am constantly amazed that this body God has made is still fighting and trying to heal. This vessel may be weak when compared with eternal glory, but it is amazingly strong when it comes to surviving the world and conditions we walk around in most of our lives. I am praying that the Lord will give me stewardship wisdom for caring for this sack of bones until we’re both finished with it.
Today I start radiation therapy. If you would like to, please pray for me the prayer that never fails. “Not my will, but yours be done.”
Oh, friends, the Lord is indeed good. The first radiation treatment went better than expected, and today I have felt my best since that first chemotherapy. Drinking a whole glass of water, enjoying some chips and dip, and being able to work from home about three hours this morning are all things I am so thankful for.
Your words give me courage. Keeping believing God’s truth for me.
B”H
Hi Charity,
Still praying for you. It’s such a blessing to us that you are writing so often of your pains and struggles. Sharing prayers and rejoicing together like this makes our sense of community a much richer experience.
May the LORD bless you to be able to eat and drink today without any side effects.
Shlomo
Charity,
I’m so grateful to hear your testimony of His faithfulness towards you, and so thankful, too, for your faithfulness and courage.
I never thought about that prayer in terms of being “the prayer that never fails”. That is so good, and I do join you with that cry. Also praying that He will make all things new, and bring His powerful redemption to this pain. Indeed, it is evidenced in your words that He already is.
It is good to hear God’s faithfulness moment by moment through all the pain.
Continuing to pray for you, sister.
Thanks so much for sharing this with us, Charity. It helps us in better offering up prayers to God for you.
I love reading the comments too. It is a blessing to see the Lord in his people.
hey charity
shelly b. emailed us and let us know what you were going through. my heart hurts for you friend. you can count on paul and i to be praying for you. i actually just finished putting together my college scrapbook and was laughing at some of the pics i had of you – great memories for me. glad to be able to walk with you in this in prayer. God’s strength to you my friend.
Nick (Kemp) McGillivary
I was thinking of you this morning. Indeed, I think of you often, and along with Eclexia, pray that prayer of “groaning”.
Will He ever be finished with you? I suspect this is just some sort of beginning. Not that He brought it on you (I really don’t believe that) but that He can make all things new, a start, a hope, a door.
Praying for you today, Charity, and praising God for your gift of faith.
Even in your pain, or maybe because of it, you are teaching us. Thank you.
My precious friend Charity, I am glad to hear that the spiritual strength is coming when it is needed most. It is a living testimony to God and His goodness to meet and exceed our every need.
Praying for you extra hard today. I look forward to hearing great updates soon.
“I am praying that the Lord will give me stewardship wisdom for caring for this sack of bones until we’re both finished with it.”
That made me laugh outright!
The blessings of a practical approach to what really matters. 🙂
How defeating to discover that even water is distasteful. Will be praying for you today…
Hey Charity! We will definitely be praying with you today. We miss you and love you!
Josh, Amanda and Joel
Hi Charity,
Thank you for sharing from your heart, from what you are going through, even during the times that you don’t understand.
After a battle with cancer, daily chemo and radiation daily, from Feb 2003 to May 2003, two major surgeries, a divorce, after 29 years, not by choice, the Lord has taken what seemed like defeat and out of the ashes has brought forth life, Hill Country Thoughts was birthed.
A lot of times, the only thing I could do, was just make it through the night and the Lord was faithful. I was never without hope.
The sharing from the heart, being real, touches the lives of others, because we draw our strength from Him and the Lord does not waste anything that we have gone through. He will use it for His glory and it will bring hope to others who are walking this path.
Charity, I will be lifting you daily in my prayers. I have been cancer free almost four years now. I take things one day at a time.
Again thank you for sharing, you never know who will blog by, whose heart you will touch, even though they do not leave comments, they will be touched.
Wrting for the King,
Paul
http://coffeecupministry.us/hillcountrythoughts
http://shoutlife.com/hillcountrythoughts
Charity, thanks so much for continuing to update us. It helps me know how to better pray for you, and I appreciate your effort, even when you have little extra effort to give. You are precious and you are loved.
hi charity
i am glad to hear you are holding fast to God
God is holding you in His Love
surrounding you
around you
above you
below you
in you and through you
with you all the time
and i am glad to hear that you are trusting and resting in His Love and Presence. it will be your all in all for awhile. you will be brought very close to God. carried by Him.
God’s mercy and blessings
be upon you
Love is God
God is Love
the power of God
God Loves you
I am praying that prayer with you, as you walk through chemo and radiation. I understand the abiding kinds of prayers and the “Help, Lord.” Through the last few years, I’ve found myself in a situation where I feel like I’m praying more on the one hand, but on the other, I can hardly articulate even one prayer in words. I’m glad the Holy Spirit speaks the language of groans, because so much of my prayer is now spoken in that language. You are now on my “groaning list”.
Thanks for the picture of receiving God’s strength to lie on the couch and bear the pain. You’re right–sometimes God asks us to trust Him to help us do the strangest things. We want Him to be glorified by how amazingly we fly through our trials. And somehow, He wants to show Himself to us, not by removing us from our broken and weak state, but by helping us walk in that brokenness and weakness trusting Him deeply.
The body God has made IS amazing, even affected by all the yuckiness of this temporary and fallen world. I’ve copied out what you said about “This vessel…”
Thanks for sharing so vulnerably your walk through this process. I’m groaning, “Your will be done, God” on your behalf today, while hoping and longing that His will gets easier to bear.