My faith has become much more practical over the past few days, as sharp pains hit deep in my ankles and I have struggled to keep food down. One day, I was convinced I couldn’t go on, until a friend reminded me that “I can do all things through Christ” sometimes means just laying on the couch and bearing the pain until it eases up a little. I didn’t have to do “all” things at that moment, just the thing the Lord was asking me to. And He was there with me.
My prayer life has been different lately, too. I very much feel the Lord’s presence in my life, but he and I aren’t sharing a lot of words. Just abiding. And when my words do come, they sound more like “help” and “oh, Lord.” Last night, in fact, I prayed just a simple prayer that I could find something to drink that wouldn’t make me sick. Miraculously, I was able to sip on some plain water throughout the night, whereas just hours before, the “taste” of water was unbearable.
As remarkably fragile as I feel and appear right now, I am constantly amazed that this body God has made is still fighting and trying to heal. This vessel may be weak when compared with eternal glory, but it is amazingly strong when it comes to surviving the world and conditions we walk around in most of our lives. I am praying that the Lord will give me stewardship wisdom for caring for this sack of bones until we’re both finished with it.
Today I start radiation therapy. If you would like to, please pray for me the prayer that never fails. “Not my will, but yours be done.”