Recently, when someone asked about my radiation treatments, they jokingly suggested I might be glowing when I finished. I laughed, and kind of wondered the same thing. Another friend cautioned me that though radiation can be part of a cure for cancer, it’s also sometimes a cause of cancer. What’s the difference?
I did worry when I left the basement lockdown area in the radiation department yesterday that I might expose young children or pets, but a quick scan revealed my radition levels back to normal, and I left in the same hue I came. At least on the outside.
Yesterday, through the course of the day as many of your were praying the prayer that never fails, God was answering. It was his will that I had strength for the treatment, it was his will that I had a little relief from the nausea. As the day wore on, he revealed his will to have friends visit and my dad stay all night to help keep away the nightmares I’ve been having.
Today, I am radiating in his perfect will because I feel encouraged and hopeful again. Not in any new or big way, just for this day. To walk boldly through this trial right now.
Sometimes it’s hard for me to imagine telling you anything new about my own struggle with cancer because so many of your own lives have been touched by this disease and others like it. This is a story that’s much bigger than me. But perhaps it is the universal nature of the story that draws us together. You can learn from my chapter; I can learn from yours.
This is my new metaphor for cancer. It’s actually an old metaphor I’ve been living in for years. It starts with the idea that our lives are a serial story, already written but revealed chapter by chapter over time. We are not the authors, but we do narrate. And like any unreliable narrator, we often get the facts a little mixed up. (Any good reader could tell you that!)
This metaphor is ringing so true to me right now because it captures all the good things many of you shared about your own metaphorical thoughts. Most good stories include a journey, a race, a fight. We find former glory restored. And we see amazing joy waiting to come.
Cancer has become a more significant part of my plot line now. It’s come and gone before as family and friends have suffered with this disease. Through my life, cancer has become a part of your plot line again, too. But whether this cancer for me is merely a complication or the climax, we’ll only know when we get to the end. Thankfully, the end we’ll only be revealed to us when it’s time.
No one likes to ruin a good story.