Today, I woke up after a restless night’s sleep. My body ached, and my stomach seemed upset over all of yesterday’s protein. I received three minutes of a brand new batch of radioactive material, and when I came home with a fever, I learned that tomorrow, if my white blood count is low, it may be back to the hospital for me. Today, cancer was again a reality.
But some unexpected parts of my life have taken on new significance. I don’t dread work — even when I’m not feeling my best, I feel called to go to the computer and produce and create. I crave beauty and have enjoyed looking at photographs and catalogs. I also have the urge to paint and write, which will hopefully soon be matched with the energy to do so.
And something as silly as my neighborhood Christmas light contest became my deepest desire. I mentioned in passing this rather odd goal, and a friend recruited the youth group in my church to come and deck my house out with all the lights they can find this Saturday (I’ll let you know in December if I win.)
I also realized that Advent is just around the corner. I love Advent, and for the past few years have taken great pains to observe and write about this tradition. I hope you’ll stop by here often for some thoughts on the anticipation of the Christmas season as Advent approaches. I feel a new sense of expectation this year.
a lot of things can and will be taken away from us…however, there is faith. and faith can not be taken from us.
i pray that your faith will not fail you.
God is with you.
He loves you and delights in you.
God will hold you in his arms.
He will bring you home.
Hello Charity! I’m thinking and praying for you today.
You’re loved, you know.
Praying for you today, Charity…
B”H
Hi Charity,
I also am praying for you. I’m glad that you had “a good day” in the midst of your current struggle. Each and every moment is a gift from GOD and we are blessed to hear of GOD’s nearness to you at this time. “Old grudges and past slights” surely will bring us down, but the LORD our God delights in forgiveness and new beginnings.
I look forward to reading your creative expressions on Advent and this season of life wherein GOD is taking you, and us, to a deeper place of fellowship.
I pray that your body will respond well to this current round of radiation and chemotherapy. May you continue to experience “good days” and may the LORD give you vision and insight to see things as they truly are.
Blessings,
Shlomo
one day at a time dear Charity, one day at a time. I am glad God is giving you good days with great clarity, and that he is providing you with some work and the ability to do it.
May you not need to be in the hospital, may your immune system kick butt and may you have peaceful sleep at home.
Like Ted, I was struck by your comment that you have the urge to paint and write, to create more beauty and truth for the world.
Certainly you have done that for me. We’re praying for you.
Charity
Thanks for trusting God and not being defined by cancer but by the eternal life God has given to you.
I love Advent too – the way it makes us look forward to the appearing of our Savior.
Grace to you
I didn’t “know” you before you had cancer. But, I do know that I like who you are with cancer. God has blessed you with a powerful forum — and I am inspired by how wisely you seem to be using it. God’s blessings. I’ll be looking forward to your Advent posts.
“so thankful to know that Jesus is with me.” Amen!
I loved the thoughts you did on lent, and I’m looking forward to hear your thoughts for advent.
Oh, and I hope your Christmas lights yield a nice picture.
Charity, this post brought tears to my eyes a couple times. The part about almost forgetting you had cancer, the part about old grudges and past slights falling away. I love hearing what feels especially pronounced and sharp and in-focus for you right now. I am learning from you so much. I love your tender heart.
Charity,
Good to hear of what God is putting in you during this time and through these difficulties, as well as your eager response to that.
Your thought of craving beauty I find quite interesting. I’m afraid too often I lose true beauty as I struggle with untrueness (ha, not right word probably) in me. Or I’m captured by something which while seeming beautiful makes me lose out on the true beauty coming from God in the new creation. Or something like that.
Am praying for you.
we got back to oregon on sunday afternoon. that night the wind and rain blew big time! all of monday the wind kept whipping up a bluster. a good day to stay inside. but, today was clear and mostly calm. what a difference! cj did not have school on monday and stayed home today because she was still very tired from the bug that she has had. i think she will return to school tomorrow.
i had to look it up, but, it looks like advent sunday is december the 2nd this year.
Love to you!
I was thinking of you today, that perhaps this has brought you an unexpected clarity. So it’s kind of odd to come here and read this as if you were answering my thoughts.
Yes, I look forward to your Advent meditations. I look forward to being “around you” in this season of anticipation over One who also knew all too well what it was like to have good and bad days.