Chemotherapy went much better this second round, and I am so thankful to the Lord. I am still experiencing some nausea, fatigue and pain, but in much more manageable chunks. Thank you for your well wishes and prayers for me over the weekend.
Unfortunately, yesterday evening was one of my worst times, so I didn’t get to join with friends as planned to light the first Advent candle of the season. I hope you did.
I have been reflecting differently this year on the anticipation of Jesus’ comings. I typicially think of advent in three ways — Jesus coming to the earth incarnate, Jesus incarnating himself in my heart through salvation, and Jesus coming to reign ultimately on “that day.” In the midst of cancer, each one of these comings seems more significant, more important that it happened, happens, will happen.
This morning as I was finishing up a chapter on Job in Michael Card’s A Sacred Sorrow, I found words for my advent thoughts this morning. Though I haven’t experienced God’s absence in this time quite like Job did during the initial days of his sorrow, I have found my interactions with God to be more subtle, more quiet. And in this stillness, they call me with a more profound sense of urgency to see and meet with my wonderful Savior. Here’s how Card describes it:
“In the end, the real miracle of Job is the spiritual intuition of Jesus he discovers through his pain and deep sense of abandonment by God. It provides a glimpse inside the mystery of just how God uses a false perception of His absence (for indeed, His very nature makes it impossible for Him not to be everywhere) to awaken in us the hunger for Immanuel (“God with us”). . . . Without the pain, he would never have know the need. Without the need, he would have never seen ahead to the One who will perfectly fulfill that need. The shadow of Jesus of Nazareth is there in Job. His prayers of protest are only a small drop in a sea of laments that would eventually call forth the coming of Jesus.” (p.59)
Advent is an expectant time, a time of joy and beauty. But it also is rooted in the reality of suffering, from the Man of Sorrows and those who follow after him. Oh, for the day when suffering has ended, however.
Checking in on you,Charity. I pray that Christmas is a wonderful celebration for you. I pray for the peace that surpasses all understanding to cover your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. I pray for the Healer of the World to touch your body and deliver you from this cancer. May your pain be non-existent and your joy be everlasting.
In Jesus name, amen.
hi Charity,
i left a little something on my blog post for you and another friend today! hope you get a chance to check it out.
lots of Love to you, sweet sister!
nancy
May God bless, encourage and strengthen you through this Advent season. Thanks for trusting the Everlasting God in your suffering.
oh sweet charity! i just found your blog (from kelly’s website) and am SO glad! thanks for sharing your life, heart and circumstances (good and bad) so openly. maybe Jesus will just come back…like now! wouldn’t that be nice 🙂 love you friend!
Laments that call forth Jesus… I like that. It’s that picture of God that began in the Old Testament… the God who hears, the God who wants to quell our weeping with His presence.
Yes, Charity. This reminds me that though there are words from God in Scripture for us in the midst of sufferings, there is a certain sense of mystery in it as well. But the people closest to God are often the ones who have been closest to pain and suffering, though those two are not necessarily linked, except by faith.
I need to reread my copy of Michael Card’s book, “A Sacred Sorrow”. Very good read. He is a very thoughtful student and disciple of Jesus. I had the privilege at last to meet him and converse a little. He’s a part of RBC Ministries where I work, a part in some way. He was listening to Bonhoeffer’s “Life Together” on his i-pod at the same time I was reading and working on that classic.
Good to hear your reflections on advent, Charity, and looking forward to more. So glad the chemo went better, though sorry to read of your tough evening. Amen to the time when these troubles are over.
yes, in suffering, we have the chance to see our need for Jesus and in that see truth and a glimpse of God. it takes us away from all that we are distracted by, in the world, and gives us a chance to focus clearly in our Savior, the Immanuel. God is truly with us.
thank you for the reminder of where our focus should be, always.
i pray for your unfailing faith in the Son of God, Immanuel.
with great Love,
the Love of God
from within my heart,
your sister, Nancy
Amen to that day, sister. These were beautiful thoughts on the commencement of the Advent season. Very raw, very apt, very poignant, given your present story.