After many prayers, conversations, appointments, and tears, the Lord is beginning to ease my anxiety somewhat. Mostly, He has done this through His word, His truth. And I am beginning to embrace the uncertainty of my life as a gift from Him again. A gift he gives us to refine our faith and cause us to trust him more. He particularly used the end of the third chapter of Philippians in my heart this week, reminding me that I am a citizen of heaven from which I am awaiting Jesus, whose power to presently subject all things to himself will one day speak directly to my body for resurrecton. He is in control now; He is in control then.
I also have been reminded through some good news this week that the Lord is writing this story, not me, and there will continue to be plot twists and suprises until the end, whenever that may be. The CT scan I had earlier in the week showed no signs of cancer, and my Cancer Antigen 125 blood protein marker is down to 6, the lowest it’s been and well into the normal range.
When I met with my doctor to discuss these results, he was as positive as he could be. My surgery had been successful to remove all known cancer, I had radiation treatments, he gave me as much chemotherapy as he possibly could because I am young and could handle the toxicity, and I had responded as well as any of his patients had. He acknowledged, of course, that this cancer could come back. But he said we would deal with that if it comes. For now, I need to put these past six months behind me and live my life.
This is easier said than done, as I am sure you can imagine. Right now, I have about a three-month window of the future that I feel I can plan for. And in the sovereignty of God, even that is not guaranteed. But what I am learning over and over through all of this anxiety and fear and good news and hope, is that the Jesus wants me to trust Him. I need to trust Him with my life — each day, each breath — and I need to trust Him with my death — the last day, the last breath. And lean heavily on the promise that through both my life and my death, He is with me.
it is easter, kiddo!
how about that?!!!
Have a joyful Easter, my dear. Missing you. (I say that a lot, but it’s true and seems worthy of saying.)
Love…
LL
A most blessed Easter Sunday and celebration to you, Charity!!
The Lord is risen indeed!!!
Hope you’re doing okay, Charity. Am praying for you.
Charity,
I haven’t stopped by in a while…dealing with a few things in life. Thank you for this post. I needed to hear this at this very moment, and I am glad that God is not done with you here! You are such an encouragement to me, and I thank you soooo much for your willingness to share.
Blessings, sister,
Who shall separate us… I’ve always loved that.
Charity
What excellent news! I know you’re not completely out of the woods but still what great news to celebrate!
You have honored God through the process. Thanks for doing so and showing what is of greatest value.
Thank you for sharing this journey.
Praise God!!
Dianne
I am SOOOO glad for the news! And I am SO encouraged in my faith when I read your posts…really truly encouraged to keep trusting no matter what my eyes see or my ears hear.
Romans 8:35-39 are life verses for me that I feel like I have to revisit weekly (if not daily, if not hourly!! 🙂 I just had a dear friend hold her little girl in her arms as the little girl died….I have been so angry (this is the second child of hers that has died) and disillusioned and asking why. I have to come back to these verses and cling to His love…a love that I don’t understand and a plan that I don’t understand. It just comes down to trusting Him and sometimes I do that willingly and sometimes I just say “Lord, help my unbelief!”
Saa WEET!
O.K, bad grammar aside let me just say that this is awesome. We are still praying for you as you ease back into your work and that you have a newfound focus and love for what you do.
May God continue to richly bless you, and your body. And may your hair grow back now thicker and purtier then ever!
Thanks for the update. Praise God for the good news!!
This is such good news, Charity, about the removal of all known cancer and the blood protein levels. But goodness, what difficult, tearful questions to be faced with and asking. Maybe one of the questions you ask now is, “What is normal?” I pray God’s continued encouragement and peace over your spirit as you walk forward into these new places and this new twisty chapter. Love to you . . .
Praise the Lord, Charity, for the good report! Will certainly keep lifting you to the throne of grace, for all the grace you need through all of this, as well as for complete healing, even here and now.
I look back on my life and know that one thing which held me back to a true extent (among other things) over the years was a fear of death which I was not probably much aware of, but manifested itself in being overly concerned about what I eat or don’t eat, how I’m sunburned or not sunburned and what to do or not do about that, etc.
I’m at last at the age where I guess, hopefully the Lord has done a work in my heart and life, but in which I care less and less about that, realizing more and more that what counts is neither life or death, but Christ.
Still, at your younger age, and so glad you are able at that age to take better the assault of treatment on you, still at your age, I can see how one naturally doesn’t want to even think of death as a nearer than farther possibility. Maybe, as you point out here, the means is to keep our
eyes fixed on the goal- the goal of our heavenward calling of God in Christ Jesus. By which we share his light and life in this world.
Blessings on you, and good to read of this, Charity.
I pray God will help you in that.