For the past few months, the thought of having my cancer return has been overwhelming and anxiety producing. All of the “what-ifs” seemed like too much to deal with. So I have been trying to live one day at a time, trusting that on the day I found out the cancer is back, the Lord would give me the grace to deal with it.
Thankfully, that day has come and I do feel an incredible amount of peace to continue to walk through this journey with cancer. If found out yesterday that I do have a 2 cm tumor in one of my abdominal lymph nodes. Of course I am disappointed and worried that the cancer has returned. However, my healthcare team has known all along that my particular type of cancer has a high recurrence rate. And all things considered, there is much to be thankful for. First, the cancer seems to be contained in this one location and has not entered my lungs or other major organ systems. Second, my CA 125 seems to be incredibly accurate and sensitive to this disease so that we can use it reliably to detect further recurrences. Third, I am still young (relatively speaking) and feeling really good right now to continue this fight. (The fighting metaphor seems to be more real to me right now!)
I will be meeting with the doctor on Monday to discuss my options. Please pray for wisdom for me as this time there truly do seem to be “options” that I can choose between. (Last time, the plan was laid out pretty firmly.) Among the various options are surgery and chemo, just chemo, various types and combinations of chemo, radiation (less likely), or nothing (not really an option). Also, please pray that I will be content to walk through this process. Now that it’s summer, the thought of surgery, recovery, chemo and all its side effects while the weather is nice and I’d rather be active is hard for me right now.
Again, thanks so much for your prayers and your continued encouragement. I’m sorry these posts are so factual right now, but I haven’t had a chance to be too reflective yet.
Is it okay if I add you to our Churches prayer list?
Let me know.
I am praying and hope all goes well in your life.
Remember God joins us on the ash heap of life. When we suffer God suffers with us. Hang in there. Keep trusting him no matter what you do and what happens.
I really want you to know that I enjoyed this post. You are in my prayers. I also, want you to know that I have added your blog to my favorites and look forward to reading your blog regualrly. Keep up the great work. You have such a talent. Use it! 🙂
I hope you have a great weekend.
i am sorry, friend. still praying for you.
Charity,
Thank you for sending us an email via Kelly. I had not thought to check your blog lately. We are so encouraged by your response of faith to life’s trials. We love you and are praying hard! In Christ,
Seth and Mona
Charity,
Thanks for the update. Sorry to hear this, but will be in prayer. Your post reminds me of my post today on resilience in Jesus, and my brother Scott’s battle with cancer (and his young son-in-law).
praying,
No need to be sorry for how you write. Reflection is slow in coming, when the facts come hard and fast. As usual, here I am, a person of words without real words to offer. Just “I love you.” Perhaps these are words enough.