I came home Sunday evening to a cold, dark house and quickly carried in the weekend’s plunder of frames and slippers and bags of chocolate. Within hours, I would be back at work and life would carry on and Christmas 2010 would be a memory. And though part of me longed to have just one more day of this blessed season, I knew I had to let it go.
The story doesn’t end with Christmas.
The Babe in the manger, the shepherds watching, the angels singing, the mother treasuring: they lead somewhere. And it’s not the North Pole.
As I began unpacking last night, dumping laundry into the hamper, finding a place for what is new, I also went about warming and lighting the house: first, turning up the furnace, then, plugging in the Christmas tree, finally, lighting candles.
I lit the candles in the jars, the ones that would make my house smell like cinnamon, and I lit the candle on the dining room table, the one that casts dancing shadows all around. But when I stopped at the Advent wreath, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t light those candles of waiting one more time.
Instead, I lit only the Christ candle, because though I know the waiting isn’t finished, last night I just needed to be reminded that he has already come. And that He is with me even now.
We all feel it, don’t we? The tug of the holidays, that tension between what is and what’s yet to come, the reminder of the reality we tried to suspend during the holy, twinkling days of Christmas.
So, we keep moving forward, keep playing out the seasons, keep remembering and anticipating Jesus.
And we keep doing it together.
::
I found myself stumbling over these same bitter sweet thoughts all over the blogosphere today. We all feel it, don’t we?
Jennifer Lee’s What It Means to Wear the Cross
Laura Boggess’s Snow Cousin
Ann Voskamp’s The Celebration Doesn’t {Have to} End
A Simple Country Girl’s Star Bright?
Billy Coffey’s Hearing the Bell
I love how you took us through your house, almost like we were there. and yes, we still linger over what should have been our focus all along
Thanks for helping us move forward, walking in the Light as He is in the Light, so that we have fellowship with one another.
Indeed.
For me, the bittersweet is that the reality you talk of suspending during the days of Christmas did not get put on hold here. Rather, it got embraced more so than normal even.
Husband got called in for heinous work hours so son and I visited the old folks home Christmas day with some friends. Their tears of joy mingled easily with tears of sadness with nearly each of the 12 visits we made. I was a blubbering mess by the end… It felt good, but it felt bad too.
Anyway, I am glad I am not paddling this boat alone. Thank you.
Blessings.