How did we get here? Ann Kroeker asks in the third chapter of Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families. In other words, what led us to think that busy is better?
I’ve asked myself that a lot over the years. There was one particular stretch when I was working at a church and was so busy that I actually found myself running to get to meetings and to do errands. Literally running down the halls of the church, running to my car, running through the store.
During certain seasons, I have slowed down, found a better rhythm. Those times usually followed a major illness or personal crisis, when I was forced to slow down. Ann talks about a similar season in her family’s life after her husband had an unexpected heart surgery.
Those months of extreme simplicity were spiritually rich, emotionally rejuvenating, and creatively full. We were able to evaluate our schedule in light of our values–of what we felt really mattered–and fought for a new reality. . . . That postsurgery simplicity paved the way for a joyful family culture and more deliberate pursuit of knowing the Lord.
But inevitably, after each period of mandatory of slowing down, the pace speeds back up and I find myself chasing my tale again. But why? How do I get there each time?
In her “Slow Notes” at the end of chapter 3, Ann suggests the following root causes of our high-speed lives. I’ve offered my observations from my single life as well.
PRIDE – Since I don’t have a husband or children, I mistakenly find my worth in all of the activity of my life.
ENVY – Rather than rejoice in the activities of others, I feel that I have to be part of them.
FEAR – If I’m not busy, will I just be home alone?
INSECURITY – Will other people think I am lazy or self-indulgent if I don’t keep busy. I mean, I am single, what else would I be doing with my time? Isn’t that what people will think?
AVOIDANCE – When I am not busy, I have to face myself and my inadequacies.
RATIONALIZATION – If I were married and had children, I’d be four times this busy. My lifestyle is simple compared to other people.
What about you? Is your life flying by at the speed of light? Do you wish you could slow down?
First, consider how you got here.
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This post is part of a series I am doing on Ann Kroeker’s Not So Fast, considering the implications for singles. Follow the link for other posts on slowing down.
Laura — I would love to have a partner as I journey through Ann’s book. It would seem that I am writing about Not So Fast on Tuesdays, though that has been by coincidence more than design up to this point. But were I to have a co-conspirator, I could be more consistent! Let’s make a date of it!
Ann — That perfect pace at any given moment feels elusive. What is perfect at one moment may be woefully lacking at another. Give us wisdom, Jesus.
Mari – You are not alone. It’s hard to remember whose we are regardless of what we are doing. A friend also reminded me of the importance of remembering whose we are when we prepare to change, lest we succeed at changing and fail to realize that we are loved unconditionally by a loving Father.
I ordered Ann’s book right after it came out, hopeful it would help me tackle this crazy disease of busy-ness. You know what? I haven’t had time to read it! With all the book club reading, and reading for some classes I’m taking, I have let my developmental reading suffer. This is such an important issue. I WILL slow down! I think I’ll go through Ann’s book with you, Charity, to help me. Are you posting regularly on Not So Fast?
How brave to publicly list each of those root causes and reflect on how any of them could be the culprit.
I’m glad to witness your self-analysis here, Charity…and the slowing. You are modeling it for your readers, which is so helpful.
May we all discover and sustain the perfect pace at any given moment.
Much needed words. As a single women, I have often measured my worth through level of activity. A few years ago when I finished school, I found myself “lost” w/out activity to define me. Envy, Fear, Insecurity, and Avoidance…guilty of all. Slow is hard but slow is good.